As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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