Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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