paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
