Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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