I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
