We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I touched a dick in church today
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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