it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
