I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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