The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
