ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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