I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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