By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
