Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
