You really coming over, don't trick.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
