I need help removing her.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
