We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize