Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
