this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
