I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
