do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
