we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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