The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
