kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
