I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
