i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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