if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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