i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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