So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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