it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Drake has all the answers
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
