A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
