She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
