I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
