So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
