i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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