spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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