he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
