its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
