You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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