that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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