I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
