I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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