Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
