somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
