I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
