Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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