Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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