i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
