I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
