He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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