I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
