she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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