your thong is hanging out like whoa
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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